Hello blogging world! I know I have been MIA for a few weeks, but I just couldn't bring myself to write because I was so hopeful that my next post would be a pregnancy announcement, but it wasn't so I just needed to take all that in and process it the best way I know how.
Today April 3rd I am feeling great. There are a few days that I honestly can't believe that the whole IVF process didn't work for us. Surely we were supposed to be pregnant and bringing a baby into the world 9 months later? That was just not the case. My God works in ways that I just can't understand and that is okay with me because I know HE is perfect and would not give us a failed IVF cycle to cause me hurt, but to bring something amazing out of the process! We still have a frozen embryo left and I pray that it stays strong and will fight until the very end. We are not sure when we will do our FET(Frozen embryo transfer), but will keep everyone posted. Hopefully I can continue after tonight with blogging and learn to blog about my life without babies and trying to conceive. It has been such a big part of my life and its hard to focus on anything else, but being I am sterile and would need a miracle from God(which could totally happen) or IVF we just have decided to live life and enjoy the life we have now. I truly believe there is a baby or two out there for us and Adoption is something I would like to do, but my husband isn't completely 100 percent okay with it yet, but I know he will get there eventually. Through this whole process the LORD has shown me and reminded me that He is in total control and that I can rest in Him through tough times and He will give me peace and comfort........He has done all the above!
Be blessed blogging world and I will update more now I promise!
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
2dp5dt
What am I feeling?? Well it was my first day back to work since last Tuesday and it felt great to be back! Being at home with your pup and a mind that just wonders and wonders about your embryos and what they are doing..Yeah, it was time to get out of the house! I have got to stay busy.
I feel positive about this IVF cycle and how well it went! I had some control in the beginning, but now it is out of our hands and the Lord has said "let me handle this." God is the one orchestrating these events and either I can trust that He will bless or I can be a victim of the devil's schemes and give up now. I am not giving up and I am taking hold of this PUPO(pregnant until proven otherwise!). Never before have I had embryos inside my uterus so this is an exciting time!
I do not want to look into symptoms to much and what I am feeling because I know my body has been through a lot these last 5 weeks so all symptoms are possible. That will mentally wear me out if I try to dissect each feeling so we will just PRAY & WAIT!
I want to share the picture of our perfect little DAY & our embabes with you all and the verse that the Lord put in my path right after our transfer. I wanted to put my embryo pictures in a safe place and I decide what better place than the living Word of God. So I quickly asked the Lord to please let me open the bible and it be on a verse that I need and this is the exact page I turned to and I already had these verses underlined!!
Deuteronomy 28:3-6
3 You will be blessed in the city and blessed in the country.
4 The fruit of your womb will be blessed (crazy right??!!) and the crops of your land and the young of your livestock-the calves of your herds and the lambs of your flocks.
5 Your basket and your kneading trough will be blessed.
6 You will be blessed when you come in and blessed when you go out.
All I could say was THANK YOU LORD!!
I feel positive about this IVF cycle and how well it went! I had some control in the beginning, but now it is out of our hands and the Lord has said "let me handle this." God is the one orchestrating these events and either I can trust that He will bless or I can be a victim of the devil's schemes and give up now. I am not giving up and I am taking hold of this PUPO(pregnant until proven otherwise!). Never before have I had embryos inside my uterus so this is an exciting time!
I do not want to look into symptoms to much and what I am feeling because I know my body has been through a lot these last 5 weeks so all symptoms are possible. That will mentally wear me out if I try to dissect each feeling so we will just PRAY & WAIT!
I want to share the picture of our perfect little DAY & our embabes with you all and the verse that the Lord put in my path right after our transfer. I wanted to put my embryo pictures in a safe place and I decide what better place than the living Word of God. So I quickly asked the Lord to please let me open the bible and it be on a verse that I need and this is the exact page I turned to and I already had these verses underlined!!
Deuteronomy 28:3-6
3 You will be blessed in the city and blessed in the country.
4 The fruit of your womb will be blessed (crazy right??!!) and the crops of your land and the young of your livestock-the calves of your herds and the lambs of your flocks.
5 Your basket and your kneading trough will be blessed.
6 You will be blessed when you come in and blessed when you go out.
All I could say was THANK YOU LORD!!
Monday, February 25, 2013
Transfer Day!!
Wow... What a day! What a beautiful day. God is good & I don't want to give anyone else the praise BUT Him:)
My 1st appt was acupuncture at 8:45 & then transfer at 10:15! I was so nervous about the full bladder thing, but when it's time to do the transfer it wasn't bad at all. The whole process couldn't have been more textbook! My uterus was very visible which made it easy for the RE!
When we first got there the embryologist came out & showed us our one beautiful embryo! It was very beautiful. She explained the shape of the embryo & what it all meant. That was pretty amazing, but we were missing something........ Our other embryo! We never told them that we just wanted one so we had to get that other embryo in route. So we transferred two blatocyst embryos!! We know the possibility for twins is high, but if it's Gods will we are more then happy with it:)
I am not going to google much bcuz I know I might not like what I see sooooooo I will just trust The Lord! I am going to enjoy being pregnant until proven otherwise! I'm not saying I will be worry free, but hopefully I can truly let GO & let GOD.
I pray that this works for me & my family & that 9 months from now we will be welcoming baby(ies) into the world! Things are looking great!
As much as the devil will try to discourage me I will forever look & trust The Lord!
Isaiah 58:11, "The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail." (NIV)
Matthew 6:33, "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." (NIV)
Friday, February 22, 2013
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Fert Report of my Embabies!!!
The magic number is 13! Woot.......I am soooooo pleased and feel like I can breathe now that I have heard from the Embryologist. Got a call around 12:45 and I was getting a little nervous after being told they would call me from 10-12. No news was good news:) So the Embryologist said that 18 were mature and 13 made it through today. She said that everything look excellent and they were very pleased with 13! She said immediately that they were going to do a 5 day transfer for Monday at 10:15 a.m and that she was pretty certain we would have 10 by saturday and she hoped we would have 5 or more for transfer day. She said the sperm looked great as well as the whole process. We couldn't be happier. My DH said "and you thought my juice wasn't good!" Haha. His juice is doing very well. She also said that I was a perfect candidate for a 1 embryo transfer because of how well things are going, but she said she would tell me saturday how the embryos look and if they look "fair/good" she might advise us to do 2. This decision is going to be a hard one because I WANT this sooooo bad & we had already planned to implant 2, but now I am second guessing our decision. I am going to talk this over thoroughly with DH and then saturday talk with embryologist and hopefully our decision making will be a little easier. I am going to be doing some searching around on web about 1 embryo vs 2 embryo transfer.
As of right now I am just excited that we have created embie babies and that something that we've been unable to do due to my blocked tubes is now becoming a reality! I pray that God will get our perfect little angel or angel's ready for transfer on Monday! I can't believe that 13 days from now we will be having a blood test done to determine if we are with child. Until then I am going to enjoy the embryo(s) in my belly and not take one moment for granted. Thank you Lord for allowing us this amazing oppurtunity!
As far as my body post retrieval, I am doing better, but sore and gassy. What is up with the gas?! Geez..:) I could do without that. My mom came and hung out with me today and was here with me when embryologist called & she was soooooo excited. She has been enjoying this whole process and I hope and pray she will become a proud grandparent of a special baby Jones:) My sweet family and friends have done fundraising for us and are hosting a Spaghetti Dinner at my church next friday & we have already had an outpouring or support and love through monetary gifts and donations of food for fundraiser! We are so blessed. I can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for us in the next few weeks! I know these next 13 days will go by so slow, but it's all going to go just as God see's fit. I don't see how people get through infertility struggles without Jesus. He has been with me through every neg preg test and gave me the strength to keep going. This whole journey has changed my life & I wouldn't trade a thing.
What I found out today?? The progesterone shot was a piece of cake. I don't know if it is because my OB's office did it for me or what, but not bad at all. This eases my nerves. I was pretty freaked out about 1 1/2 inch needle, but just like everything else it has been easier than I expected! I sure hope I get to take these shots for 10 weeks! That will mean I am preggers...woot woot:)
Let me show you this picture of my back and where the anesthiologist marked me for my PIO shots for my DH to know exactly where to hit me......My nurse friend freaked when she saw how high and the position of the markings:( She said your sciatic nerve is right there. So she changed the spot and showed me where the shot SHOULD go. Thank God I seen her today. Well tried to upload it, but will try again very soon!
Happy Blogging and God bless each of you!
As of right now I am just excited that we have created embie babies and that something that we've been unable to do due to my blocked tubes is now becoming a reality! I pray that God will get our perfect little angel or angel's ready for transfer on Monday! I can't believe that 13 days from now we will be having a blood test done to determine if we are with child. Until then I am going to enjoy the embryo(s) in my belly and not take one moment for granted. Thank you Lord for allowing us this amazing oppurtunity!
As far as my body post retrieval, I am doing better, but sore and gassy. What is up with the gas?! Geez..:) I could do without that. My mom came and hung out with me today and was here with me when embryologist called & she was soooooo excited. She has been enjoying this whole process and I hope and pray she will become a proud grandparent of a special baby Jones:) My sweet family and friends have done fundraising for us and are hosting a Spaghetti Dinner at my church next friday & we have already had an outpouring or support and love through monetary gifts and donations of food for fundraiser! We are so blessed. I can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for us in the next few weeks! I know these next 13 days will go by so slow, but it's all going to go just as God see's fit. I don't see how people get through infertility struggles without Jesus. He has been with me through every neg preg test and gave me the strength to keep going. This whole journey has changed my life & I wouldn't trade a thing.
What I found out today?? The progesterone shot was a piece of cake. I don't know if it is because my OB's office did it for me or what, but not bad at all. This eases my nerves. I was pretty freaked out about 1 1/2 inch needle, but just like everything else it has been easier than I expected! I sure hope I get to take these shots for 10 weeks! That will mean I am preggers...woot woot:)
Let me show you this picture of my back and where the anesthiologist marked me for my PIO shots for my DH to know exactly where to hit me......My nurse friend freaked when she saw how high and the position of the markings:( She said your sciatic nerve is right there. So she changed the spot and showed me where the shot SHOULD go. Thank God I seen her today. Well tried to upload it, but will try again very soon!
Happy Blogging and God bless each of you!
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
ER day is here!!
Sooooooo, it's been an eventful, emotional, exciting kinda day! Me & my DH had to be at RE's office at 7:30 for our retrieval this a.m! I cannot believe this day has came & retrieval is done:) Time flies when your busy injecting yourself & making sure your eating just right. Isn't it funny that this has flown by, but for some reason the 2ww will just cruise slowly like it's not for anything better to do?! Ugh. So anyhoo, retrieval was a piece of cake & I loved the meds they have me. I was just a talkative somebody. I couldn't shut up! Haha.... Tim (anesthetist) was great!
About 30 minutes after recovery we finally found out how many eggs were retrieved & we were super stoked! 22 eggs & hoping & praying they are some bambino's in that bunch that will make there home in my belly here soon:) Anxious about the call tomorrow, but excited too. This whole process has been pretty amazing & I'm just so grateful at having this opportunity. What a gift! To be able to see life in its very first stages is awesome & to know MY God creates each cell & decides to create a human being. Only God can do something of this magnitude & I am thankful for the RE's, embryologist & nurses who help bring all of the pieces together!
So being its been an eventful day this chick is laid up with her feet up watching CSI Miami & waiting for my DH bring me some din-din. I am craving carbs & anything that's not good for me. I deserve to splurge tonight:)
My symptoms from retrieval is some gas, soreness, cramps, but nothing that's unbearable. I've been hydrating with Gatorade & water to make sure I don't come down with ohss. Hopefully I'm on the right path:) Im off work tomorrow so I can rest up & prepare my body for the transfer. That part im not looking forward to having a full bladder while having a catheter inserted through my cervix into my uterine cavity.... But it's got to be done so I'll suck it up! I'm just gonna make sure I don't drink to much & if I need more of a full bladder I'll drink up. Thankfully it doesn't last long & hopefully my embie babies will be mighty sticky!
Tomorrow I'll know more about what were working with & I hope & pray God allows us at least 6 mature! I'll update you guys as soon as we know tomorrow.
I want to give a shout out to my sweet DH for being such a trooper with the things he's had to do for this process! I know it's not easy & now he can just sit back & relax:)
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
My stomach is in knots!
Yes, my stomach is doing flips! I am getting so nervous, but it's an exciting nervous...Okay, well maybe it is a nervous nervous:) Lol. In the IF world it is like you are programmed to go ahead and think of the bad outcome instead of looking ahead to what could be your "turn" of being blessed with a child.
I am a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ and have been since October 2008 when HE drastically changed my life and gave me a new life in HIM. I have not been the same since & I don't plan on being the same. When you come to know Christ you see with His eyes instead of the worlds eyes and things are so much clearer. You actually see your purpose and why you are really here. I am here on this earth to do God's work and to better His Kingdom. If nothing else worked out for me on this earth I would still be okay because He has prepared and eternal Heaven for me and anyone else who believes on His name. Becoming a Christian is so much simpler than what people make it out to be. God sent His Son Jesus to die for us because we needed redemption and atonement for our sins and He was the only way. So all we do is realize that we are sinners and if we don't repent and ask for forgiveness we will not spend a moment in Heaven. You have to trust and believe in Jesus and you can be saved.
I had to give that introduction about Jesus to lead up to what I am writing today. I am nervous about this not working, but I know that it is out of my control at this point. God is the creator of all life an He decides what happens. Will I be ready to accept a negative preg test easily? No, not at all, but I know I can move forward and I have a Savior that still loves me soooo much. I have tried to think of how I will react to it not working, but then I get mad because that is me not fully trusting the Lord. I asked Him to show me something today and all 3 devotions I read were "do not fear", "trust the Lord" and that "God has all the dots connected".....I believe in my heart that this IVF will work and I know the devil will tempt me with discouragement, but I know my GOD and how He works. He has brought us this far and He doesn't plan to leave us.
I am so blessed with an amazing support group so I know that I will be okay.....I thank all of my IF friends who are soooo supportive and I have one special lady who has been my ROCK through all this. She is my best friend Natalie Sparks. We met through Infertility and God had all the dots connected!! I don't know where I would be without her support and love. I love you Natalie Sparks. She is 33 or maybe 34 weeks preg right now and our prayer was we would be pregnant at the same time, of course hoping it was the beginning of the 9 months, but God can still allow us to be pregnant together and that makes me reallllllly happy!
I am a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ and have been since October 2008 when HE drastically changed my life and gave me a new life in HIM. I have not been the same since & I don't plan on being the same. When you come to know Christ you see with His eyes instead of the worlds eyes and things are so much clearer. You actually see your purpose and why you are really here. I am here on this earth to do God's work and to better His Kingdom. If nothing else worked out for me on this earth I would still be okay because He has prepared and eternal Heaven for me and anyone else who believes on His name. Becoming a Christian is so much simpler than what people make it out to be. God sent His Son Jesus to die for us because we needed redemption and atonement for our sins and He was the only way. So all we do is realize that we are sinners and if we don't repent and ask for forgiveness we will not spend a moment in Heaven. You have to trust and believe in Jesus and you can be saved.
I had to give that introduction about Jesus to lead up to what I am writing today. I am nervous about this not working, but I know that it is out of my control at this point. God is the creator of all life an He decides what happens. Will I be ready to accept a negative preg test easily? No, not at all, but I know I can move forward and I have a Savior that still loves me soooo much. I have tried to think of how I will react to it not working, but then I get mad because that is me not fully trusting the Lord. I asked Him to show me something today and all 3 devotions I read were "do not fear", "trust the Lord" and that "God has all the dots connected".....I believe in my heart that this IVF will work and I know the devil will tempt me with discouragement, but I know my GOD and how He works. He has brought us this far and He doesn't plan to leave us.
Psalm 25
Of David.
1 In you, Lord my God,
I put my trust.
I put my trust.
2 I trust in you;
do not let me be put to shame,
nor let my enemies triumph over me.
do not let me be put to shame,
nor let my enemies triumph over me.
I am so blessed with an amazing support group so I know that I will be okay.....I thank all of my IF friends who are soooo supportive and I have one special lady who has been my ROCK through all this. She is my best friend Natalie Sparks. We met through Infertility and God had all the dots connected!! I don't know where I would be without her support and love. I love you Natalie Sparks. She is 33 or maybe 34 weeks preg right now and our prayer was we would be pregnant at the same time, of course hoping it was the beginning of the 9 months, but God can still allow us to be pregnant together and that makes me reallllllly happy!
Monday, February 18, 2013
Ultrasound 4&5 with blood work:)
Okay so let me just say I cannot keep up with the blogging thing:) I've been trying my best, but my silly Ipad at home is not cooperating with me so I am sorry.....
So let's get everyone up to speed. I have been doing acupuncture for the last few weeks leading up to this cycle and I totally think it has helped! I had 6 follies on Wednesday of last week and when I went in Friday for u/s I had 11 that she measured and my E2 level was 498 I do believe....They said they were pleased with that and to keep on with the upped dosage of Gonal F. The upped dosage sure did it's work because Saturday I was super tired allllll day, but yesterday morning I woke up sick and exhausted. It was a gingerale, crackers and soup kinda night:( When I went in to my appt today for u/s and blood work the nurse started the follie scan and said "this is why you aren't feeling great" there were 12 follies on right and left! 12 that are measuring great and my E2 level was 1588:) I am assuming that those are good numbers because the nurse was very happy!
Bad news is she said I was at risk of getting OHSS and to stay hydrated with plenty of water and Gatorade and eat lots of protein! So I have already started that....
Here are some of my numbers from today:)
Good news is I TRIGGER tonight and RETRIEVAL is set for Wednesday @ 8:00!! Woot....I can't believe that we have come this far. I think I am still in shock, but a good shock. I am ready to be a mama(im already a stepmamma, but ready to be with child and enjoy being pregnant!) and I am just putting my trust in the Lord! It will not be long and I will be in the dreaded 2WW and I am not really looking forward to that part, but unfortunately that comes with the territory!
So let's get everyone up to speed. I have been doing acupuncture for the last few weeks leading up to this cycle and I totally think it has helped! I had 6 follies on Wednesday of last week and when I went in Friday for u/s I had 11 that she measured and my E2 level was 498 I do believe....They said they were pleased with that and to keep on with the upped dosage of Gonal F. The upped dosage sure did it's work because Saturday I was super tired allllll day, but yesterday morning I woke up sick and exhausted. It was a gingerale, crackers and soup kinda night:( When I went in to my appt today for u/s and blood work the nurse started the follie scan and said "this is why you aren't feeling great" there were 12 follies on right and left! 12 that are measuring great and my E2 level was 1588:) I am assuming that those are good numbers because the nurse was very happy!
Bad news is she said I was at risk of getting OHSS and to stay hydrated with plenty of water and Gatorade and eat lots of protein! So I have already started that....
Here are some of my numbers from today:)
Good news is I TRIGGER tonight and RETRIEVAL is set for Wednesday @ 8:00!! Woot....I can't believe that we have come this far. I think I am still in shock, but a good shock. I am ready to be a mama(im already a stepmamma, but ready to be with child and enjoy being pregnant!) and I am just putting my trust in the Lord! It will not be long and I will be in the dreaded 2WW and I am not really looking forward to that part, but unfortunately that comes with the territory!
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Ultrasound #2 and blood work:)
Hello blogging world....I know I am behind with blogging or I don't keep up to date as often as some people do, but my ipad will not let me create a new post! Crazy....So I wanted to update everyone on our appt today. Everything looked good, but I am stimming a little slow says my RE. So my meds have been upped to 300iu's of gonal f and will do that for the next two nights. Then I will have a u/s on Friday to see how I have progressed! I am hoping for just the right amount of healthy follies. That is all I ask for. So with that being said I will update again on Friday with my new numbers.
This is becoming really REAL and I am finally able to enjoy it and I am getting super excited.
Valentine's day is approaching and a year ago tomorrow is when we visited Carolina Conceptions in Raleigh and knew it was the place that would help assist us in building our family. The Lord worked over the last year and orchestrated all the events that are happening and we couldn't be more excited. He gets all the PRAISE.
This is becoming really REAL and I am finally able to enjoy it and I am getting super excited.
Valentine's day is approaching and a year ago tomorrow is when we visited Carolina Conceptions in Raleigh and knew it was the place that would help assist us in building our family. The Lord worked over the last year and orchestrated all the events that are happening and we couldn't be more excited. He gets all the PRAISE.
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Excited ovaries:)
Tonight will be the 4th night of injections and I can surely feel my ovaries getting excited! I am having twinges and achiness in low back and stomach. I am anxious to see when I go for my 1st U/S tomorrow how many follies are there. I think I am still dreaming and I need someone to pinch me! We are really in our IVF cycle. I honestly never thought this day would come, but I am so overwhelmed with gladness and I am so grateful for this opportunity. We would not be in the cycle if it weren't for my family, friends and people I don't even know. They have given monetary gifts and donated there time in helping with a successful yardsale we had back in Oct and also planning to help with our Spaghetti Dinner on March 1st:) We are super blessed with a tremendous support team and I thank God for each person who has been a piece to our puzzle.
My stomach does flips when I think of the 2ww and it's not necessarily a bad thing.....I just want this really bad for me and my DH.
I serve a God who is more than able to make miracles happen and I am looking forward to the miracle!! U/S tomorrow and I am going to guess their will be 10 follies!! Who knows?? I don't even know what I should be expecting, but I am anticipating great things. Thank you Lord for your guidance and love through this long unexpected JOURNEY.
My stomach does flips when I think of the 2ww and it's not necessarily a bad thing.....I just want this really bad for me and my DH.
I serve a God who is more than able to make miracles happen and I am looking forward to the miracle!! U/S tomorrow and I am going to guess their will be 10 follies!! Who knows?? I don't even know what I should be expecting, but I am anticipating great things. Thank you Lord for your guidance and love through this long unexpected JOURNEY.
Friday, February 8, 2013
Ready or not here it GOES! :)
It is Friday February 8th and I am patiently awaiting my medicine delivery! I am really nervous today, but that surely wouldn't have anything to do with watching a you tube video on PIO injections! Please tell me not to do that again....That girl worried me a little. I keep on telling myself "it is for a good cause"....It totally is. I am actually just shocked that we are this close to the big DAY. It came so quick, but WE are ready. I have decided to cut my caffeine completely out after today. I am going to try my best and keep my eyes focused on our goal which to bring a baby home by the end of this year!
5 years is a looooong time to just go through this process not really giving it your all. I do not want to look back and tell myself I could have done something different so I am taking steps to clear that up right now. I know that in the end it is not up to me or my husband, but up to God the one who is the creator of ALL life.
I am holding on to a lot of hope right now for our IVF cycle. I know that there are many positives on our side, but most importantly God is on our side! Luke 11:9-10 NIV "So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 10 For everyone who ask receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.
& our medicine has arrived as we speak. I think I hear the FEDEX guy outside my job:)!!
Well he didn't stop here so I got worried and got in my car and tried to track him down...Didn't work! Must be on a diff truck:(
5 years is a looooong time to just go through this process not really giving it your all. I do not want to look back and tell myself I could have done something different so I am taking steps to clear that up right now. I know that in the end it is not up to me or my husband, but up to God the one who is the creator of ALL life.
I am holding on to a lot of hope right now for our IVF cycle. I know that there are many positives on our side, but most importantly God is on our side! Luke 11:9-10 NIV "So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 10 For everyone who ask receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.
& our medicine has arrived as we speak. I think I hear the FEDEX guy outside my job:)!!
Well he didn't stop here so I got worried and got in my car and tried to track him down...Didn't work! Must be on a diff truck:(
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Day 14 of BCPS........Right now I am feeling amazing. This morning was a different story! God is good and He is the one who gets me over these humps! We are getting closer.....WOOT!
Today is a special day for me because I am fasting until dinner time. I have a friend who asked if I could meet with her and her friend (who struggles with infertility) & offer some encouragement and I jumped on that opportunity. I believe we go through struggles on this earth to help others out who are struggling. God brings all the right people together. So we decided to fast until we meet for dinner because we believe fasting opens up doors and allows us to get closer with the Lord. Fasting is a way to say no to "self" and really depend on God to satisfy our every need. He comes through every time. I am hungry and I have a slight headache, but if it brings me closer to my Savior I will have faith and fast. I believe God has heard our prayers and that He is ready to bless us with the children that we desire, but in HIS time. I am praying and hoping for a successful IVF and I am ready to see God do BIG things. I am not perfect, but I am His child and He delights in me and I delight in Him.
I am so ready to start stimulation meds and kick these bcps to the curb. Ready to get my eggs awake and moving.....I am ready to create little baby embryo's (something me and my husband have never done). That will be a milestone in itself. Im sure I will be totally speechless when I know we finally created something we've been trying to create for 5 years! Thank you Lord for the staff at Carolina Conceptions and for this opportunity.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 God's Grace is Sufficient.
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak I am strong.
Today is a special day for me because I am fasting until dinner time. I have a friend who asked if I could meet with her and her friend (who struggles with infertility) & offer some encouragement and I jumped on that opportunity. I believe we go through struggles on this earth to help others out who are struggling. God brings all the right people together. So we decided to fast until we meet for dinner because we believe fasting opens up doors and allows us to get closer with the Lord. Fasting is a way to say no to "self" and really depend on God to satisfy our every need. He comes through every time. I am hungry and I have a slight headache, but if it brings me closer to my Savior I will have faith and fast. I believe God has heard our prayers and that He is ready to bless us with the children that we desire, but in HIS time. I am praying and hoping for a successful IVF and I am ready to see God do BIG things. I am not perfect, but I am His child and He delights in me and I delight in Him.
I am so ready to start stimulation meds and kick these bcps to the curb. Ready to get my eggs awake and moving.....I am ready to create little baby embryo's (something me and my husband have never done). That will be a milestone in itself. Im sure I will be totally speechless when I know we finally created something we've been trying to create for 5 years! Thank you Lord for the staff at Carolina Conceptions and for this opportunity.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 God's Grace is Sufficient.
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak I am strong.
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
This is going to be short and sweet and to the point...I DO NOT LIKE BCPS! Oh my heavens they are making me into a woman my husband does not like. Poor guy. I have to remember that it is all for a wonderful cause. I want to get my Baby Jones and if this is part of it I will take it.
Only 7 more days of the pills and that makes me really happy....Baseline Ultrasound on Feb 4th and then starting stimulation meds on Feb 9th. Woot!
My family and friends are so awesome and I honestly don't know where I would be without them. They are hosting a Spaghetti Fundraiser on March 1st to help with our medical bills due to infertility and IVF. People have already been so generous with donations that we will not have to come out of pocket at all for medications! My mom had come across some old books at an auction at her work months ago and bought over a hundred books for a whopping $1...She realized that these books were worth something and she contacted a friend who knew a friend who collected old books and he bought those books for $900.00!!! All went towards the Baby Jones Fund. Amazing. Speechless. God is good!!
Only 7 more days of the pills and that makes me really happy....Baseline Ultrasound on Feb 4th and then starting stimulation meds on Feb 9th. Woot!
My family and friends are so awesome and I honestly don't know where I would be without them. They are hosting a Spaghetti Fundraiser on March 1st to help with our medical bills due to infertility and IVF. People have already been so generous with donations that we will not have to come out of pocket at all for medications! My mom had come across some old books at an auction at her work months ago and bought over a hundred books for a whopping $1...She realized that these books were worth something and she contacted a friend who knew a friend who collected old books and he bought those books for $900.00!!! All went towards the Baby Jones Fund. Amazing. Speechless. God is good!!
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Day 7 of BCPS...Getting better!
I feel like changing the font today because I feel like a new woman:) Yup, that's right! Birth Control Pills will not win this battle. Thank you Lord for a renewed sense of peace. I know I can always count on you.
So I had acupuncture yesterday to get these ovaries out of sleep mode (well they aren't really sleeping, but we are going to get them nice and vibrant! I have to say that the needles in the ovary area was a tiny bit uncomfortable while going in, but anything for a Baby Jones RIGHT? I honestly will do anything that is statistically proven to help with conceiving w/IVF. We didn't come this far to not try our best. As I was laying on the table and relaxing I got really excited about knowing that two embryo babies that me and my DH (dear husband) create will be implanted and living in my uterus for hopefully 9 months. Either way the process will be amazing. We've never created a baby together and it just hit me that this will be happening no matter what and that alone is just breathtaking and makes my heart so happy. I PRAY that God sees fit to let us carry the baby(ies)for 9 months and then I hope HE allows us the biggest reunion with our long awaited miracle child.
I will not lie about my emotions because that would be me not facing my fears, but this process is trying and will be trying by the time it is all said and done, but I know we can get through it. Kari Jobe sings an awesome song "Healer" and I will post lyrics. I might try to sing this at my church on Feb 3rd:)I figured I would post the actual song...Enjoy!
So I had acupuncture yesterday to get these ovaries out of sleep mode (well they aren't really sleeping, but we are going to get them nice and vibrant! I have to say that the needles in the ovary area was a tiny bit uncomfortable while going in, but anything for a Baby Jones RIGHT? I honestly will do anything that is statistically proven to help with conceiving w/IVF. We didn't come this far to not try our best. As I was laying on the table and relaxing I got really excited about knowing that two embryo babies that me and my DH (dear husband) create will be implanted and living in my uterus for hopefully 9 months. Either way the process will be amazing. We've never created a baby together and it just hit me that this will be happening no matter what and that alone is just breathtaking and makes my heart so happy. I PRAY that God sees fit to let us carry the baby(ies)for 9 months and then I hope HE allows us the biggest reunion with our long awaited miracle child.
I will not lie about my emotions because that would be me not facing my fears, but this process is trying and will be trying by the time it is all said and done, but I know we can get through it. Kari Jobe sings an awesome song "Healer" and I will post lyrics. I might try to sing this at my church on Feb 3rd:)I figured I would post the actual song...Enjoy!
Monday, January 21, 2013
Jan 20th blogging post:) My computer was acting silly yesterday!
Let me just start by saying today has been one of my 1st rough days through this journey. Day 4 of BCPS & I was down for the count today:( I have just felt yucky (like fatigue, weird bowels(tmi?) & just out there! I took an afternoon nap & I can't tell if that made it worse or better. I missed churched which I do not like at all, but I had to listen to my body. Throughout this process I hope that I'm able to attend my church services like normal, but I am not sure what time my injections will be so I might miss a few services due to the time frame of those. You HAVE to do injections at a certain time & not go over or under by 20 minutes I think. So it's a pretty strict process. I will do whatever it takes if it will get me closer to Baby Jones.
On the brighter side of things my God is still able & our IVF education class is tomorrow @ 2pm! Woot! Can't believe it's actually here.
So my DH (dear husband) that's infertility talk by the way will be signing all our consents tonight & will be going over the paperwork! Then we will be able to ask ?'s, will be shown how to give myself the injections & will be getting a calendar of everything that will be happening in the upcoming weeks... Super excited to have a plan! It has truly been a blessing from God to be where we are now. He has def been at work. I can look back now & know He was guiding us:)
~This is a outline for what we will be doing the next few weeks~
Birth Control pills for 14-21 days
Lupron or another med for 10 days- suppresses the ovulation process (they say this is a really rough time through cycle)
10 days of injections (stimulation for your ovaries) got to get those eggs partying!!
Ultrasounds throughout the med proceed to see how the eggs are doing, how many etc...
Hcg (which causes you to ovulate 36-48 hours later)
Retrieval appt soon after to get those eggs (I'll be sedated)
Sperm retrieval that same day (egg & sperm meet) & they hopefully "hit it off" and create nice looking embryos! We are hoping for quality over quantity!
Transfer time (hopefully a 5 day transfer) & bam I'm PUPO (pregnant until proven otherwise)
2WW (two week wait) this is one of the most trying times of someone going through infertility! The way I will make it is with God on my side:)
Job 5:9 He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted!
I looooooooooove that verse:)
On the brighter side of things my God is still able & our IVF education class is tomorrow @ 2pm! Woot! Can't believe it's actually here.
So my DH (dear husband) that's infertility talk by the way will be signing all our consents tonight & will be going over the paperwork! Then we will be able to ask ?'s, will be shown how to give myself the injections & will be getting a calendar of everything that will be happening in the upcoming weeks... Super excited to have a plan! It has truly been a blessing from God to be where we are now. He has def been at work. I can look back now & know He was guiding us:)
~This is a outline for what we will be doing the next few weeks~
Birth Control pills for 14-21 days
Lupron or another med for 10 days- suppresses the ovulation process (they say this is a really rough time through cycle)
10 days of injections (stimulation for your ovaries) got to get those eggs partying!!
Ultrasounds throughout the med proceed to see how the eggs are doing, how many etc...
Hcg (which causes you to ovulate 36-48 hours later)
Retrieval appt soon after to get those eggs (I'll be sedated)
Sperm retrieval that same day (egg & sperm meet) & they hopefully "hit it off" and create nice looking embryos! We are hoping for quality over quantity!
Transfer time (hopefully a 5 day transfer) & bam I'm PUPO (pregnant until proven otherwise)
2WW (two week wait) this is one of the most trying times of someone going through infertility! The way I will make it is with God on my side:)
Job 5:9 He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted!
I looooooooooove that verse:)
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Day 3 of BCPS = a very different person. Lol! I'm not sure I like the way I feel and even more importantly I'm not sure my husband likes the way I am acting....I feel very out of it so to speak. This is the journey we have to take & I am buckling up because I know it is going to be a roller coaster of a emotions!
On the flip side of things it is very beautiful out today and it just reminds me of how God is faithful and He will bring sunshine in our life when it seems it is very dark and cloudy. No matter the situation and the circumstance JOY does come in the morning. I've ?'nd things a lot & God has always shown me that He is right their and to wait because He was working. That word "wait" is extremely controversial because in my human mind I just don't understand why my desire wasn't being fulfilled and why "I" had to WAIT. I have learned over the last 4 1/2 years that God has a bigger plan and even if I knew exactly what that was would I be satisfied? Probably not. The waiting and praying has made me appreciate the life that God creates within the womb. It is something only He creates.
On the flip side of things it is very beautiful out today and it just reminds me of how God is faithful and He will bring sunshine in our life when it seems it is very dark and cloudy. No matter the situation and the circumstance JOY does come in the morning. I've ?'nd things a lot & God has always shown me that He is right their and to wait because He was working. That word "wait" is extremely controversial because in my human mind I just don't understand why my desire wasn't being fulfilled and why "I" had to WAIT. I have learned over the last 4 1/2 years that God has a bigger plan and even if I knew exactly what that was would I be satisfied? Probably not. The waiting and praying has made me appreciate the life that God creates within the womb. It is something only He creates.
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Friday, January 18, 2013
Day 2 of the beginning of my IVF cycle😀. I started taking my BCPS yesterday evening & will know more on Monday when we have our Nurse Education Class. I'm hoping I don't start feeling crazy with the BCPS because it's been over a decade since I've taken them, but I'll do what I have to do to her closer to my Baby Jones:)
I've been super busy w/ my job the last 3 weeks & finally beginning to slow down a bit. I've been wanting to seriously blog everyday, but not been able to do that so IVF decided to do it now all the way through the IVF process. I'm sure I will need this time alone to process my thoughts, worries, anxieties & feelings, but I want to make sure I go through this process with an open mind & knowing that I do not hold the final outcome... My Savior Jesus Christ does. He has been my ROCK through these 5 years of the unknown. Without Him I would not be doing IVF. He has placed me on this part of my journey & I am so grateful & blessed. He will be the one I spend a lot of time with through these next few weeks. He will have to reassure me I'm sure that He is in control & that things will be just fine in the end, with or without baby. John 16:33 tells us that "These things I have spoken to you, that in ME you will have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world."
My goal through this journey is for it to be memorable & for God to be glorified. I want to be where He wants me to be & I want to honor Him while going through these days of not the knowing, nervousness, excitement & fear... He will deliver me from this. God is good ALL the time God is good:)
I've been super busy w/ my job the last 3 weeks & finally beginning to slow down a bit. I've been wanting to seriously blog everyday, but not been able to do that so IVF decided to do it now all the way through the IVF process. I'm sure I will need this time alone to process my thoughts, worries, anxieties & feelings, but I want to make sure I go through this process with an open mind & knowing that I do not hold the final outcome... My Savior Jesus Christ does. He has been my ROCK through these 5 years of the unknown. Without Him I would not be doing IVF. He has placed me on this part of my journey & I am so grateful & blessed. He will be the one I spend a lot of time with through these next few weeks. He will have to reassure me I'm sure that He is in control & that things will be just fine in the end, with or without baby. John 16:33 tells us that "These things I have spoken to you, that in ME you will have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world."
My goal through this journey is for it to be memorable & for God to be glorified. I want to be where He wants me to be & I want to honor Him while going through these days of not the knowing, nervousness, excitement & fear... He will deliver me from this. God is good ALL the time God is good:)
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