I was asked to be a guest blogger for National Infertility Awareness Week and jumped on the opportunity. I love to share our story that is still being written by God Himself and I love to give people hope in the midst of something that seems so hopeless. Hope you enjoy!

Thank you Sarah for sharing our story!!

Never in a million years did I think that Jayson and I would travel on this journey of infertility. Never in a million years did I think that this journey would have so many mountain tops and yet so many valleys. Never in a million years did I think God would love us so much and allow us to live OUR STORY to better the both of us, and to touch the lives of so many others. God is good, God is faithful and God is forever present in all of our circumstances on our journey. If you do not know Him, I am highly recommending Him with 100% guarantee!

 This is OUR STORY that will one day lead us to our dream, our gift, our baby! As long as I can remember, I have always wanted to be a mother. I have always had a very nurturing spirit toward others; it is just who I am.

I begin to plan “my” big dream of motherhood as I got older and began to think about marriage and family. My big dream was to have kids by a certain time in my life, to be the best mother possible and to live life to its fullest….but I (we) would soon learn that God had other plans and they were not “my” big dream plans!

Jayson and I were married April 19, 2008 and on that day I married the man I knew God had set aside for me. I truly believe he is my soul mate and that I will spend the rest of my life with him. On April 19th, I got two gifts, the gift of a husband and the gift of my stepson, Lil J. Lil J. was a blessing and all we needed at that time, but we already knew that we wanted to grow our family in the future. In 2009, we began to focus on “growing” our family. However, months went by and no baby … mum, but we never thought or imagined that there may be underlying physical problems, but just to be sure, I went to see my physician. After a few medicated cycles (using clomind & fermara- a drug that stimulates ovaries to produce extra eggs for a better chance) that ended up with no pregnancy, I decided to change doctors. God knew exactly who that doctor should be because this doctor was able to immediately reveal the problems that were prohibiting us from conceiving.

After a few test we learned that my fallopian tubes were obstructed and surgery was necessary to correct the problem. No big deal, right…? Surgery was scheduled for April of 2010 and we were advised with good news, news that we had a very good chance of conceiving and our child would soon be with us. Well, eight long months passed and still no positive pregnancy test. To be honest, somewhat discouraged, we decided it was time to see our doctor again. After he ordered more tests we found out I had developed what is called Hydrosalpinx, which is fluid that settles in the tubes. The fluid was a definite sign that my tubes had reversed and were blocked once again. This was definitely not what we were hoping to hear, but we still kept our faith and our hope in the only ONE that could help us. That faith and hope was in Christ Jesus. Through this whole journey, we have tried our best to let the Lord lead us on the right path and lead us in making the right decisions that will always bring honor and glory to Him.

 We were told about IVF, and it sounded very exciting, but financially IVF just seemed so BIG and completely out of “our” reach. We continued trying to conceive in hopes of our miracle. More months passed and even another year went by with no baby. I knew that through God all things are possible and that even through blocked tubes, we could conceive, so we just kept trusting in Him and trusting in His master plan. Was this always easy? Definitely not!

 Well, 2012 was upon us and the earnest desire of my heart was to be a mother. We decided it was time to take the next big step and that was consult with an IVF physician in Raleigh, NC. The date for this consult was on February 14th, none other than Valentine’s Day. I knew this would be a turning point in our journey since this very day was known as A DAY OF LOVE. At that doctor’s visit, we found out that if we wanted to proceed with IVF, I would need to have yet another surgery to remove both damaged tubes. Removing the tubes would increase our success rate and give our embryos the best chance possible to survive. Moving forward with that information, as scary as it was, we prayed desperately and surgery was scheduled for August of 2012.

 Of course, I was very hesitant to have this surgery. Removing my tubes would forever take away our chances of conceiving our baby the natural way. None-the-less, we knew that God had a plan and His hand was guiding us every step of the way. It was nerve racking to know that for us to have a chance at having our baby, we would have to spend $15,000-$17,000 out of pocket for every IVF cycle. Unfortunately our insurance does not cover the expenses of infertility or anything related to infertility.

 By faith, in need of a financial miracle, we moved forward and with a very strong support team behind us, it came to be! For us to even have the opportunity of the awesome gift of IVF was more than amazing! Thanks to my amazing awesome family and friends we were able to have several fundraisers to help support our financial needs and there were many, even strangers, that gave us gifts of $love$. Without ALL of them we would have never been able to continue on this journey. We were so moved by the love and support that we were blessed with by so many giving of their time, their money but most importantly their prayers. All of that made our walk through IVF a lot easier.

Almost a year to the date of our Valentine’s Day consult in 2012, we were going through the IVF process, which was definitely a process! Lots of medicine, lots of shots, lots of uncertainty, but at the same time it blessed us in more ways than we have time to share. However, sadly the day came to have our pregnancy blood work done and unfortunately, we got the news that the cycle was not successful and we were not pregnant. As difficult as that was hear from our doctor, we knew that God was in control of exactly what He was doing on our behalf. -------------------------------> This was our Transfer day Feb 25th 2013 and those were the precious embryos that didn't make it. Thank God for the one we had left over!

 Thankfully we had one embryo that we were able to freeze in hopes of “THAT ONE” being our baby. We decided to take a break and to just let God continue to guide us into the right timing to use our frozen embryo & this is where we are in our journey as I write OUR STORY. Of course, to use our last embryo we had to have more finances involved. With the help of many friends and family we started a Go Fund me page where we asked for help from our family and friends and boy did we get HELP! I never thought the response would be so big but within month we had raised the $2000.00 we needed! Praise God. The support has been phenomenal this whole journey!

My plan this cycle was to keep it a secret the best I could from my family because I wanted to surprise them with a positive pregnancy test. Last cycle we were very open about our embryo transfer and everyone knew, but this time I just wanted to give myself time also to cope with the loss if it didn’t work out the way we had planned. I wanted my family to be able to relax…..We started our cycle of Frozen Embryo transfer in February of this year and it took about 6 weeks of preparation. Birth control pills, progesterone shots, baby aspirin and estrogen….Al l those things made everything perfect for our transfer date of March 21^st. Our biggest prayer was for the thaw of the embryo to be successful because that would get us to the point of transferring that sweet thing!

That prayer was answered and our precious embryo was ready for take off…….What a beautiful emby he/she was. This little heart formed on the outside of the embryo where it was hatching and that was my little sign from God that everything was going to be just perfect!!! Everything was in place for transfer and we got to watch that beautiful miracle be placed in my uterus. After transfer our DOC went and got us some donuts and insisted we eat them so you didn’t have to tell me twice! Haha. They were so yummy. I knew everything was going to work out perfectly. Something inside me was so joyful when I left that place. God had been speaking and moving and I couldn’t wait to see how things unfolded.

As joyful as I was I knew what was upon us…The dreaded 2 week wait. In a infertile’s mind this 2 week wait is one of the hardest things they will ever go through…This was our last shot at a biological child because of the financial reasons. We had talked about adoption, but my husband was just not sure. So if this didn’t work I had no idea where we stood, but I did know that I would still SERVE my Savior because He knows best and wants what is best for us. Faith and Hope is all I had.

I called my family that day and told them our procedure was scheduled for April 4^th so that I could continue on with my surprise…..They were super excited to know procedure was coming up and we were super excited that we had already had procedure! Haha. The next few days were going to be hard, but with Gods help I knew I could get through it. I also decided to keep a journal of every little thing that happened and what I was feeling. A few days after transfer I felt what I thought was implantation twinges and cramping and had that sensation for a few days & then 6 days after transfer I started feeling “weird” and my heart was racing which is a sign of pregnancy so I started to get super happy. I had a very strong urge to test before actual bloodtest and my mom confirmed that by sending me a random text that said “test” now remember she didn’t know we had had procedure and I knew that was a sign from the Lord. I asked her what that text meant and she said “oh I was trying to send a picture.” Didn’t make sense, but I knew it was confirmation on my urge to test. 2 days later I was brave enough to by some HPT (home preg test) and was praying and reading my bible and a song came on called “What Faith Can Do” and I immediately jumped up, ran to the bathroom , dropped my drawers and to my surprise there was a sweet beautiful positive looking back at me!!!!!

I think I went crazy after that. I just kept on thanking God for this gift and running around my bathroom like a crazy woman. Haha. I was in shock! I had to wait 7 long hours to tell my husband because he was working late, but as soon as he got home I got my video camera ready and whipped out the 4 preg test I had took….Yep I took 4!! I had to make sure. My husband didn’t believe it, but we just went with it and couldn’t wait for 2 days to past to where we could get our blood work done! It was so hard keeping it a secret, but I wanted to make the surprise a super awesome one for family and friends.

Monday came and first beta was 137….Wednesday repeat beta and number was 354. Everything was looking good….Friday repeat beta…884…..Sunday last beta 2,736….We are REALLY pregnant! Oh Mylanta. What a miracle from God. Only one more week to spill the beans!

The beans were spilled and our family is estactic! I am 7wk4d today and feeling pretty good. We heard the heartbeat of our precious little one on Monday and it was very strong beating at 155!

Infertility is a part of me, but it is not who I am. I got through the difficult part and now we can reap the JOY that is found in waiting in FAITH! Luke 1:37 “For with God nothing shall be impossible.”

Back on the radar!

Hello blogging world! I know I have been MIA for a few weeks, but I just couldn't bring myself to write because I was so hopeful that my next post would be a pregnancy announcement, but it wasn't so I just needed to take all that in and process it the best way I know how.

Today April 3rd I am feeling great. There are a few days that I honestly can't believe that the whole IVF process didn't work for us. Surely we were supposed to be pregnant and bringing a baby into the world 9 months later? That was just not the case. My God works in ways that I just can't understand and that is okay with me because I know HE is perfect and would not give us a failed IVF cycle to cause me hurt, but to bring something amazing out of the process! We still have a frozen embryo left and I pray that it stays strong and will fight until the very end. We are not sure when we will do our FET(Frozen embryo transfer), but will keep everyone posted. Hopefully I can continue after tonight with blogging and learn to blog about my life without babies and trying to conceive. It has been such a big part of my life and its hard to focus on anything else, but being I am sterile and would need a miracle from God(which could totally happen) or IVF we just have decided to live life and enjoy the life we have now. I truly believe there is a baby or two out there for us and Adoption is something I would like to do, but my husband isn't completely 100 percent okay with it yet, but I know he will get there eventually. Through this whole process the LORD has shown me and reminded me that He is in total control and that I can rest in Him through tough times and He will give me peace and comfort........He has done all the above!

Be blessed blogging world and I will update more now I promise!

2dp5dt

What am I feeling?? Well it was my first day back to work since last Tuesday and it felt great to be back! Being at home with your pup and a mind that just wonders and wonders about your embryos and what they are doing..Yeah, it was time to get out of the house! I have got to stay busy.

I feel positive about this IVF cycle and how well it went! I had some control in the beginning, but now it is out of our hands and the Lord has said "let me handle this." God is the one orchestrating these events and either I can trust that He will bless or I can be a victim of the devil's schemes and give up now. I am not giving up and I am taking hold of this PUPO(pregnant until proven otherwise!). Never before have I had embryos inside my uterus so this is an exciting time!

I do not want to look into symptoms to much and what I am feeling because I know my body has been through a lot these last 5 weeks so all symptoms are possible. That will mentally wear me out if I try to dissect each feeling so we will just PRAY & WAIT!

I want to share the picture of our perfect little DAY & our embabes with you all and the verse that the Lord put in my path right after our transfer. I wanted to put my embryo pictures in a safe place and I decide what better place than the living Word of God. So I quickly asked the Lord to please let me open the bible and it be on a verse that I need and this is the exact page I turned to and I already had these verses underlined!!

 Deuteronomy 28:3-6
3 You will be blessed in the city and blessed in the country.
4 The fruit of your womb will be blessed (crazy right??!!) and the crops of your land and the young of your livestock-the calves of your herds and the lambs of your flocks.
5 Your basket and your kneading trough will be blessed.
6 You will be blessed when you come in and blessed when you go out.

All I could say was THANK YOU LORD!!

Transfer Day!!

Wow... What a day! What a beautiful day. God is good & I don't want to give anyone else the praise BUT Him:) My 1st appt was acupuncture at 8:45 & then transfer at 10:15! I was so nervous about the full bladder thing, but when it's time to do the transfer it wasn't bad at all. The whole process couldn't have been more textbook! My uterus was very visible which made it easy for the RE! When we first got there the embryologist came out & showed us our one beautiful embryo! It was very beautiful. She explained the shape of the embryo & what it all meant. That was pretty amazing, but we were missing something........ Our other embryo! We never told them that we just wanted one so we had to get that other embryo in route. So we transferred two blatocyst embryos!! We know the possibility for twins is high, but if it's Gods will we are more then happy with it:) I am not going to google much bcuz I know I might not like what I see sooooooo I will just trust The Lord! I am going to enjoy being pregnant until proven otherwise! I'm not saying I will be worry free, but hopefully I can truly let GO & let GOD. I pray that this works for me & my family & that 9 months from now we will be welcoming baby(ies) into the world! Things are looking great! As much as the devil will try to discourage me I will forever look & trust The Lord! Isaiah 58:11, "The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail." (NIV) Matthew 6:33, "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." (NIV)

The no no marks for PIO shots!!

Yeah the anesthesiologist totally had this wrong!!!

Fert Report of my Embabies!!!

The magic number is 13! Woot.......I am soooooo pleased and feel like I can breathe now that I have heard from the Embryologist. Got a call around 12:45 and I was getting a little nervous after being told they would call me from 10-12. No news was good news:) So the Embryologist said that 18 were mature and 13 made it through today. She said that everything look excellent and they were very pleased with 13! She said immediately that they were going to do a 5 day transfer for Monday at 10:15 a.m and that she was pretty certain we would have 10 by saturday and she hoped we would have 5 or more for transfer day. She said the sperm looked great as well as the whole process. We couldn't be happier. My DH said "and you thought my juice wasn't good!" Haha. His juice is doing very well. She also said that I was a perfect candidate for a 1 embryo transfer because of how well things are going, but she said she would tell me saturday how the embryos look and if they look "fair/good" she might advise us to do 2. This decision is going to be a hard one because I WANT this sooooo bad & we had already planned to implant 2, but now I am second guessing our decision. I am going to talk this over thoroughly with DH and then saturday talk with embryologist and hopefully our decision making will be a little easier. I am going to be doing some searching around on web about 1 embryo vs 2 embryo transfer.

As of right now I am just excited that we have created embie babies and that something that we've been unable to do due to my blocked tubes is now becoming a reality! I pray that God will get our perfect little angel or angel's ready for transfer on Monday! I can't believe that 13 days from now we will be having a blood test done to determine if we are with child. Until then I am going to enjoy the embryo(s) in my belly and not take one moment for granted. Thank you Lord for allowing us this amazing oppurtunity!

As far as my body post retrieval, I am doing better, but sore and gassy. What is up with the gas?! Geez..:) I could do without that. My mom came and hung out with me today and was here with me when embryologist called & she was soooooo excited. She has been enjoying this whole process and I hope and pray she will become a proud grandparent of a special baby Jones:) My sweet family and friends have done fundraising for us and are hosting a Spaghetti Dinner at my church next friday & we have already had an outpouring or support and love through monetary gifts and donations of food for fundraiser! We are so blessed. I can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for us in the next few weeks! I know these next 13 days will go by so slow, but it's all going to go just as God see's fit. I don't see how people get through infertility struggles without Jesus. He has been with me through every neg preg test and gave me the strength to keep going. This whole journey has changed my life & I wouldn't trade a thing.

What I found out today?? The progesterone shot was a piece of cake. I don't know if it is because my OB's office did it for me or what, but not bad at all. This eases my nerves. I was pretty freaked out about 1 1/2 inch needle, but just like everything else it has been easier than I expected! I sure hope I get to take these shots for 10 weeks! That will mean I am preggers...woot woot:)

Let me show you this picture of my back and where the anesthiologist marked me for my PIO shots for my DH to know exactly where to hit me......My nurse friend freaked when she saw how high and the position of the markings:( She said your sciatic nerve is right there. So she changed the spot and showed me where the shot SHOULD go. Thank God I seen her today. Well tried to upload it, but will try again very soon!

Happy Blogging and God bless each of you!

ER day is here!!

Sooooooo, it's been an eventful, emotional, exciting kinda day! Me & my DH had to be at RE's office at 7:30 for our retrieval this a.m! I cannot believe this day has came & retrieval is done:) Time flies when your busy injecting yourself & making sure your eating just right. Isn't it funny that this has flown by, but for some reason the 2ww will just cruise slowly like it's not for anything better to do?! Ugh. So anyhoo, retrieval was a piece of cake & I loved the meds they have me. I was just a talkative somebody. I couldn't shut up! Haha.... Tim (anesthetist) was great! 

About 30 minutes after recovery we finally found out how many eggs were retrieved & we were super stoked! 22 eggs & hoping & praying they are some bambino's in that bunch that will make there home in my belly here soon:) Anxious about the call tomorrow, but excited too. This whole process has been pretty amazing & I'm just so grateful at having this opportunity. What a gift! To be able to see life in its very first stages is awesome & to know MY God creates each cell & decides to create a human being. Only God can do something of this magnitude & I am thankful for the RE's, embryologist & nurses who help bring all of the pieces together! 

So being its been an eventful day this chick is laid up with her feet up watching CSI Miami & waiting for my DH bring me some din-din. I am craving carbs & anything that's not good for me. I deserve to splurge tonight:) 

My symptoms from retrieval is some gas, soreness, cramps, but nothing that's unbearable. I've been hydrating with Gatorade & water to make sure I don't come down with ohss. Hopefully I'm on the right path:) Im off work tomorrow so I can rest up & prepare my body for the transfer. That part im not looking forward to having a full bladder while having a catheter inserted through my cervix into my uterine cavity.... But it's got to be done so I'll suck it up! I'm just gonna make sure I don't drink to much & if I need more of a full bladder I'll drink up. Thankfully it doesn't last long & hopefully my embie babies will be mighty sticky! 

Tomorrow I'll know more about what were working with & I hope & pray God allows us at least 6 mature! I'll update you guys as soon as we know tomorrow.

I want to give a shout out to my sweet DH for being such a trooper with the things he's had to do for this process! I know it's not easy & now he can just sit back & relax:)